Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Mother of all Four Letter Words.

I love language. I appreciate words and the magic they evoke when they are strung together by talented writers and speakers. I’m a sucker for clever lyrics in all genres of music.
I make a conscious effort to select exactly the most appropriate word. It’s a game I play with myself. This high standard in self expression has provided both a challenge and a frustration with French, my second (in this case literally) language.
One of the most fascinating lessons I have come to appreciate about language is the differences in cultural references and influences.
It shocked me when I made Québécois friends and they dropped the f-bomb into conversation like popcorn. It was an epiphany to realize that, while to my ears, it sounded like they needed their mouths’ washed out with soap, to them, this was not swearing. It was just a word, and one without any real meaning.
You quickly come to realize the worst obscenities in French (Quebec specific examples) are words related to religion: “estie” (a corruption of hostie or host – body of Christ), “calisse” (from chalice – the goblet that holds the wine – blood of Christ) and “tabernac” from tabernacle, a sacred space near the altar of the church.
Which lead me to the understanding that the curse words of each culture vary and relate to whatever subject is most sacred, private or taboo. Generally, Anglo Saxon vulgarity relates to sex or genetailia, Romance Language malediction relates to religion and sex, while Germanic-speaking people ‘s bad language is dirt, excrement and sex-related. Hey, there seems to be a common denominator here…

Sometimes, bad language is warranted.

Due to my peculiar particularness regarding language, I try to avoid using four-letter words. But let one slip by and watch out! Profanity can be both seductive and habit-forming.
I have to admit though, every once in a while, there is nothing more satisfying than a good cuss word or two. There are times that actually call for the use of an obscenity and the f-word is an especially good one.
There is no greater outlet for frustration than a forceful “f” ending in a percussive “ck” connected by a vulgar, slightly drawn out “uh” sound.
As a matter of fact, a team of researchers received the Ig Nobel Peace Prize in 2010 for discovering that swearing relives the effects of physical pain.
So in this case, it would seem it is not only appropriate, but uttering obscenities can be considered a form of treatment when you hit your funny bone or stub your toe. The study also showed that if you swear often, it becomes less effective, suggesting you should reserve coarseness for when you really need it.
We’ve all experienced the impotence of anger, the high tide of rage which tenses your whole body into rigidity and locks down all physical action, not to mention mental ability. You can’t do anything for fear of losing all control, you can’t say anything because you are seething with pent-up emotion which is blocking all thought.
Sometimes, the only appropriate words are “F**k you!”

F-Bomb, the ultimate ice breaker.

I golf, and have played in many business-related tournaments over the years.
Some of my most uncomfortable moments have been while playing as the only woman in a foursome of randomly-assigned business people. While I love the game, I’m a mediocre golfer, with the occasional fabulous shot which keeps me coming back, hoping that I’ve turned the corner and I’ll hit the ball like that every time.
I distinctly remember being on the fourth hole with three guys I had just met. I sensed a level of discomfort akin to having to babysit your two-year-old sister when your cool friends were over to play video games.
The men hit first because the women’s tee is closer to the pin. Then we trudged over and I teed up my ball. I hit a beautiful, long, straight drive a little over 150 yards down the fairway. We all watched the ball go.
When it landed, there was a moment of surprised silence. Then, in a loud, awed voice, I said, “Holy f**k”! The combination of the nice shot and my irreverence cracked them all up. We had a great game.

Gender Bias

I am a feminist (that would be f****g feminist to some of you), so it always riled me to discover that swearing was yet another thing that was more acceptable for men than for a woman.
Which hardly seems fair, because if being able to string a line of cuss words together is acceptable masculine behaviour, I don’t have any problem coming across as a little manly now and then. Sometimes it’s useful to be “one of the boys”.

Like, “like”

Over reliance on four-letter words demonstrates a mental laziness. If you find yourselves overusing a word, challenge yourself to find a synonym every time you go to use it. Like, if your fall back word is “like”, then you might want to try “similar to” or “related to”, “resembling” or “close to” to change it up.
Repetitive speech patterns, even when not comprised of foul language can result in leaving a poor impression.
However, gratuitous or habitual use of profanity is a real deal breaker for me. For example, when I check out a new follower on Twitter and see more than a few expletives deleted in their thread, I choose not to follow.

Profanity has its place.

So swearing can help relieve the effects of physical pain.
Uttering obscenities can ease anger and frustration.
Cursing can break the ice, and demonstrate that it is a common denominator which makes you one of the gang.
Like language, it can provide clues to the background, values and origins of the blasphemer.
But similar to many things in life, less is more and excess diminishes the power of curse words.

Expletive deleted.

I was delighted when I discovered the expression “expletive deleted”. It provided me with the visual of a hole charred in the fabric of conversation – the places in the dialogue where the expletives were deleted.
Which helps illustrate why overuse diffuses the impact of curse words.
If f**k is used every second f**cking word, then after a few f**king instances of f**king seeing or f**king hearing the f**king f-word, your mind starts to skip and slip over it and you tune out.
It becomes the negative space in your communication.
via:http://leaderswest.com/2014/02/26/the-mother-of-all-four-letter-words/

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